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Self Acceptance

We all want to be special. Starting as children, clinging at least unconsciously to the belief as adults. We want to be known as someone or something ‘more’ than everyone else. It fills a deep need to reassure ourselves that our own worst fear that we are not good enough is not true. And we are terribly afraid that others will find out how unworthy we really are.

It is a cruel self-criticism that says we aren’t worth anything without some notable accomplishment if our lives are lived in obscurity unknown and unaccomplished by comparison to others. That I am special is the secret that saves and gives my life meaning.

how to develop self confidence

In fact, none of us are special in the way we demand, not even the world-renowned. We are all quite ordinary whether we have power, extraordinary intelligence, great riches or none of these.

Spiritually this may be the most valuable and difficult insight of a life. To realize we are ordinary is to have the rug of our reality pulled away and we are left with nothing. We become gray and non-existent, like puffs of smoke. My first glimpse of this I felt I’d been pushed off a cliff. I couldn’t breathe yet there was only my breath. I was shocked to my core and knew it was true. I cried and was secretly relieved.

  

First Step Towards Building Self-Acceptance

It is a pivotal moment to acknowledge we are better than no one and no one is better than us – the first step toward building self-acceptance –  and -love. Being ordinary takes away our moral superiority and the right to judge others. It says, “I am guilty of being human.” We discover that we are ‘everyday water’ out of the tap, not the designer variety bottled in glass and charged with fruit flavor.

improving self esteem

Making peace with being an everyday run-of-the-mill humdrum human can help us face the complications and challenges life presents. Whatever they may be: overeating, chronic illness, financial ruin, family feuds, and professional failure. These are real-time problems of real people, and we are real people.

To recognize that I’m ordinary is humbling. I’m no better than you no matter what sins you have committed. I can look at the past and see my own sins. Failures, unkindness, lies. I’ve hurt people I love. I’ve let them down. I’ve been selfish. It is a simple story of a human life.

finding inner peace

Robert Monroe was world-renowned for his exploration of consciousness and out-of-body experience. After the death of his beloved wife, Nancy, he pushed the limits of his exploration beyond the barriers of death. Writing of his journey to the edge he recounts reaching the ultimate state – energy. He was a tiny wisp that shifted and soared in an infinite mass of tiny wisps. He knew he must return to his body or dissipate into a final formlessness.

How much more ordinary can we be than a breath of energy temporarily tied to a material body destined eventually to return to that impersonal state? Just a puff.

 

The Buddhists also hold the basic belief that we are ‘not.’ There is no me, no special reality of self. We live, we die, nothing special, no problem.

Would our lives be different with such realization?  How would we behave in such a context of understanding? Would we feel kindly? Have more compassion for one another? To be ordinary brings me peace. Ordinary people can be lazy, wrong, angry, silly, petty and overweight. They can have bad hair. Just like them. Just like me.

 

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If you’re looking for 1-on-1 support with self-acceptance in Scottsdale, reach out and contact Dr. Sandra Egli at Center of Intention to start your journey today. Call 480-582-3374 to book your appointment today.

 

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Mindfulness

Meditation: Sandra Egli
Music: Torey Ronhovde

The wisdom of a thousand generations guides you today. Only listen. Without a sound their voices reverberate in your cells. Settle within and choose your path.

All of us come from strength, fortitude, perseverance. No matter how difficult their lives, our ancestors made it through and passed on life for the next generation. Over and over, until it came to you. The intelligence that guided them has also come to you.


To Thine own Self be true.

If I could present you with a single blessing, it would be the gift of Mindfulness. Awareness of yourself: body, emotions, and self-talk, all the time. Our immediate experience is the ultimate exploration that only grows richer with time. What we do or don't do, and the roots of our behavior, are accessible with the simple practice of noticing immediate experience. It is this practice that makes it possible to know and be true to ourselves.

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Sandra's graceful way of listening & non-judgmental demeanor allowed me to open up effortlessly. I was certain, as I left her office, that I had received precisely the healing I needed.

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