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Relationships

Being Who We Are and Making a Difference Every Day

10. April, 2018Blog Posts, RelationshipsNo comments

“The point of Zen practice is to be who we are – a formless field of benefaction.”

Charlotte Joko Beck

Nothing Special Living Zen

how to be who we areWe all want to contribute in some way to our fellow humans. There are many ways to do that. Some people volunteer, others give money. More commonly, we give advice. Lots of it and we think it is a contribution.

Giving advice to others is rarely well-received (i.e., they don’t follow our suggestions) and rarely satisfying for the same reason. We persist expressing our opinions because giving advice is never about the other person. It is always about us, our unreality and the way we think things should be. In truth, we may not have a clear perspective about the best action for anyone else to take. Our advice is based on our beliefs which are the basis of how we cope with our lives. Read more

How Letting Go of Expectations Can Bring Acceptance, Rest & Trust

14. March, 2018Blog Posts, RelationshipsNo comments

We each have someone. Someone we love who can’t seem to get his/her life together. Hold down a job. Drink less. Stop using drugs. A child, sibling, friend, unable to function effectively in the world. We want their lives to go well. We want their lives to work according to our hopes for them. When that doesn’t happen, we hurt for them and for ourselves. Sometimes we get angry. Cut them off. That hurts, too.

Beyond the pain and the struggle not to support their dysfunction,

what can we do? What will help them and what will alleviate my pain? Often, we try to manipulate their lives into a pretty picture as much for our own peace of mind as for their happiness. Read more

Feeling Helpless About Yourself or Others? Try “Yes”

10. October, 2017Blog Posts, Relationships, Spiritual HealingNo comments

Perhaps we would all do well to ‘just say yes’ more often. There’s an aspect of human nature that we consistently resist reality. We want life to be other than it is. We want our lives to be other than they are. We want events to turn out differently than they do. And so, we excuse ourselves to feel victimized, cross our arms, stomp our feet and say, “No.” There is a misconception that such resistance is powerful. It is not. Any behavior based on the belief that ‘I am a victim’ or ‘this should not be’ is untruthful and lacks power.

Why is that so and what is the difference between effective and ineffective behavior?

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Tips On How To Forgive: A Personal Story

14. October, 2015Relationships, Spiritual HealingNo comments

how to forgiveThe bitter feelings when we have been unfairly treated can linger sometimes for years. They drain and distract us every time the offending incident returns to mind. They can strain and destroy our relationships.It is easy to say “just get over it.” The ‘doing’ of getting over it when you believe you did not get a fair hearing, you were misunderstood, or wrongly accused and convicted, is more difficult. Often even more challenging is when the offense is recognized within our society as a serious or heinous crime, such as incest or rape, forgiveness may seem impossible, but learning how to forgive can help you heal.

The most inspiring story of forgiveness I’ve read is that of Corrie ten Boom. She was Dutch, a Christian, and she worked to help many Jews escape the Nazi Holocaust during World War II. She was arrested and interred in the Ravensbrück concentration camp. Lecturing on forgiveness after the war, she met one of the guards responsible for the death of her sister and thousands of others. He asked her to forgive him and beyond all odds of what she thought possible, she did so.

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Family Constellations: Healing Generational Wounds

16. June, 2015Blog Posts, RelationshipsNo comments

The potency of an act refers to its power to reproduce itself through the generations… This is the spiritual analogue to the perpetuation of gene characteristics.

Kabbalah and Consciousness

Allen Afterman

family constellationsWe like to think of ourselves as truly individual, sole proprietors of who we are. While we recognize that our parents and upbringing have had an effect on us, we generally see our true self as independent of our background.

Another perspective suggests we are more than “just” ourselves. We are members of a greater soul, the soul of our families. This soul is a living entity with its own drive for survival and wholeness much as individuals are driven for themselves. This family soul is focused on the group. It isn’t concerned about the needs or desires of individual members except to the extent that they serve the betterment of the family.

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How To Stop Judging Yourself To Better Connect With Others

20. April, 2015Blog Posts, Energy Healing, RelationshipsNo comments

how to stop judging yourselfThe inner critic with whom we all live has the black and white thinking of a child. And, like a child, is despotic and illogical. She has an opinion on everything you do or don’t and is frequently contradictory.

“You should get more sleep.” “You should get up earlier.” “You should get out more with friends.” “You are much too social.”

There is a reason for this contradictory behavior. Your inner critic is most likely a child, generally quite young, perhaps 3 to 5 years old. Children emulate their authority figures and learn to regulate themselves with internal self-direction. All of that is good as the

research will tell you. Children who master self-control early in life are more likely to be healthy, do well academically, and be financially secure later in life. This can be a great benefit in how to stop judging yourself and move in a positive direction in your life. Read more

Expand Cultural Awareness With These 6 Entertaining Books

18. March, 2015Blog Posts, Energy Healing, RelationshipsNo comments

If you love to read as I do, you are always on the lookout for books to enjoy. It is my vice that I love mysteries, especially those set in other cultures in recent times. Here are a few that made my A list each for their own reasons that may also help to expand cultural awareness. All are entertaining, eye-opening, heartwarming, and most are lighthearted. Many of them are series and when you’ve fallen in love with the protagonist you may insist on reading every one. I hope you will enjoy some of them. It is gratifying to share a good book!

  1. The Dr. Siri Paiboun Series by Colin Cotterill

The Dr. Siri Paiboun Series by Colin CotterillThese 8 mysteries are set in People’s Democratic Republic of Laosin the mid-1970s, at the end of the Vietnam War. The protagonist, Dr. Siri Paiboun, is a 72-year old doctor, who has been drafted as the country’s chief medical coroner. Dr. Paiboun was himself a onetime revolutionary and was married to a leader of the revolutionary party. He also has the ‘gift’ of receiving information from those beyond the grave, a mixed blessing from his perspective. The first book in this series is

The Coroner’s Lunch. Read more

6 Self Discovery Books For A Journey Towards Spiritual Growth

9. March, 2015Blog Posts, Energy Healing, Meditation, RelationshipsNo comments

self discovery booksI’ve been asked for book recommendations many times. Sometimes the book to recommend for this or that person is clear. More often, I’m stuck for a name of the author or the book. Most important, each of us is on our unique path of self-discovery and spiritual growth.

There is the tale of a man walking through a book store and, inexplicably, a volume falls from the shelf and lands at his feet. That volume proves then to be exactly the guidance he needs in the moment. I’ve had my own experience of a book that seemed to light up before my eyes as I wandered through some amazing bookstores (notably Powell’s City of Books in Portland and the Peregrine Book Company in Prescott). As recently as a few weeks ago a friend of mine recounted her similar experience of the book that ‘jumped into’ her hands.

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Are You Asking: How Do I Find My Purpose In Life?

17. February, 2015Blog Posts, Healing Articles, RelationshipsNo comments

find-my-purpose-in-life What do you believe is the purpose of your life? Are you able to put it to words? Do you believe you have one life or more to come? A 2013 online Harris poll found that 24% of respondents believe in reincarnation. An earlier poll (2005) estimated that 20% of Americans believe in reincarnation.

We can’t be certain whether we have multiple lives. For the sake of this conversation, let’s suppose that whether or not you will reincarnate, you chose the life you were born into this time around. If so, the question is, “Why did you choose these circumstances? What did you intend?”

To answer the question consider all aspects of your life: those with which you are happy and especially those aspects that cause you distress or suffering. Your list might include: I regret my divorce. I have a hard time making a living. I don’t have close friends. My brother and I are like oil and water. I don’t have children.

Consider any one of your sorrows or frustrations and ask yourself, “Why would I choose this challenge? What could I possibly learn from this?” Analyse your list as a whole. Is there a pattern in your problems?

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Thanksgiving Gratitude Helps Us Find Happiness

25. November, 2014Blog Posts, RelationshipsNo comments

find happinessMy friend, Roger, told me that one reason he loved his wife was sauces. He went on to explain that he grew up in a meat and potatoes home. Catsup was about as fancy as the toppings got. When he married Janet, she taught him about sauces, wonderful sauces for every kind of food: Béarnaise, Hollandaise, Remoulade, and more.

Isn’t it the case that we love one another for all sorts of sweet and silly reasons? And that gives rise to these notes of gratitude this Thanksgiving as we quest to find happiness in life and find happiness within yourself.

I am thankful for the people I love and how that love shows up, scattered through my life.

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Mindfulness

Meditation: Sandra Egli
Music: Torey Ronhovde

The wisdom of a thousand generations guides you today. Only listen. Without a sound their voices reverberate in your cells. Settle within and choose your path.

All of us come from strength, fortitude, perseverance. No matter how difficult their lives, our ancestors made it through and passed on life for the next generation. Over and over, until it came to you. The intelligence that guided them has also come to you.


To Thine own Self be true.

If I could present you with a single blessing, it would be the gift of Mindfulness. Awareness of yourself: body, emotions, and self-talk, all the time. Our immediate experience is the ultimate exploration that only grows richer with time. What we do or don't do, and the roots of our behavior, are accessible with the simple practice of noticing immediate experience. It is this practice that makes it possible to know and be true to ourselves.

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Sandra's graceful way of listening & non-judgmental demeanor allowed me to open up effortlessly. I was certain, as I left her office, that I had received precisely the healing I needed.

Female client, age 44
Phoenix, Arizona

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