Call Us 480-582-3374

10250 North 92nd Street #301
Scottsdale, AZ 85258

Spiritual Healing

Speaking the Truth: Recognizing & Agreeing to Reality

20. June, 2017Boundaries, Spiritual HealingNo comments

speaking the truth When you are upset, about anything, you are not in truth. When you are angry, ranting, yelling, you are not in truth. You are fighting what’s so and what’s so is the truth – reality. Recognizing reality relieves misery and brings peace. Not necessarily the outcome you prefer, but clarity and calm. Frenzied angry actions are not behaviors consistent with reality.

A personal example here. A good friend forgot the birthday of her son’s wife. She paid a big price for this. Her daughter-in-law made it clear that she was hurt, barely acknowledged the generous makeup gift, and then stopped communicating with her mother-in-law. My friend felt terrible but made the excuse for herself that so much else was going on. She had also forgotten two other birthdays, both close friends, in the same month. Telling me this, she paused thoughtfully and said, “If truth be told I don’t know if I like my daughter-in-law very much. Perhaps that also played a part.”

finding the truthWe considered what she said and were quiet. All the rest was also accurate but here she hit the bullseye: her part in what happened. Once acknowledged, nothing else was needed. She didn’t have to confess in public view or beg her daughter-in-law’s forgiveness. After speaking the truth and divulging her secret my friend went on to talk about the ways in which she also appreciates her daughter-in-law. Not contrived, natural, and just as true as the bits she doesn’t like. With truth is freedom.

As for the daughter-in-law, she too has a personal piece of truth to discover, likely related to her life experience. Her indignation belongs to her.

This sort of experience occurs for all of us. Some minor event provokes us out of proportion to what happened. I used to be irritated and ashamed when a client would ‘no-show’ without canceling an appointment. I felt disrespected. Reality check: the issue was mine, mired in the small child who never felt good enough. The other reality is that a client’s no-show is for their reasons. Perhaps they really are rejecting me but that is their business, not mine. My part was learning why it upset me and dealing with that. While I still don’t like a no-show, it no longer has the same effect.

set a boundaryA few weeks ago, I was irritated with my brother because I said ‘yes’ when I should have said ‘no.’ I felt he was imposing even to make his request. Reality check: It had nothing to do with him, it was all about me and my own inability to set a boundary. After carrying a pit in my stomach for a few days I called and changed my ‘yes’ to a ‘no.’ He didn’t mind at all. (So much for blaming him.)

External battles, focused on someone else’s shortcomings, are the wrong fight. They distract us from the right battle which is the one where we must look at ourselves to discover the heart of the matter. Byron Katie says, “All war belongs on paper.” By that, she means a structured written form of self-examination she designed to lead us to the truth, always about ourselves.

willingness to recognize our partReality doesn’t demand that we like it. Reality has no feelings. Reality is fine if we work to change it when it can be changed. And whether, or not, it can be changed, peace emerges when we agree to what’s so. Agreement often rests on the willingness to recognize our part – what’s really going on for us.

agreeing to realitySometimes the hardest places to come to reality occur when we lose someone we love. I suggest that even then, we have a piece in the matter. Whether it is feeling we should have done more and loved them better or a refusal to agree to the cycle of life and death, we have a part that we play.

The business of agreeing to reality is true on every level, including societal. If every politician, citizen, and non-citizen did this, we could perhaps come to communicate, compromise, and a better outcome for all of us. If you are fighting, anytime you are fighting, stop and look within. When you come to rest you are on to something big.

_________________________________________________

If you’re looking for spiritual guidance in Scottsdale, reach out and contact Dr. Sandra Egli at Center of Intention to start your holistic journey. Call 480-582-3374 today!

Read Related Articles:

Spirituality and Stress: Tips to Manage Frustrations & Social Expectations

18. May, 2017Meditation, Spiritual HealingNo comments

spirituality and stress managementWhen did ‘go with the flow’ become common to everyday speech? Its origin is sometimes attributed to

Shakespeare and its present meaning is to follow the crowd. I connect the expression to the hippie culture of the 1960s and 70s. It meant to take life at an easy pace, don’t get stressed, be cool. In that context, the saying conjured images of people opting out of the rat race and moving back to nature. It connoted the desire for a simple life and escape from the frustrations and stress of societal expectations. Read more

Whose Karma is it: Neural Pathways, Constellations and Karma

18. April, 2017Blog Posts, Spiritual HealingNo comments

whose karma is itEver since the emergence of ‘alternative’ healing in public awareness, conventional medicine has questioned the efficacy of treatments not based in Western science. As research has begun to catch up ancient medical treatments such as

acupuncture, herbs and teas are being validated. Now, researchers are expanding our knowledge about the human brain, how it develops and the impact of individual experience not only on the individual but on subsequent generations. This, too, is consistent with alternative healing processes. Read more

How to Find True Happiness in Your Life

21. March, 2017Blog Posts, Spiritual HealingNo comments

How to Find True HappinessBeyond survival, we seek happiness. It’s a human desire brought on, perhaps, by prosperity and disposable time, like disposable money, seeking a place to be spent. We evaluate our feelings and want more of that ‘feel good’ feeling more of the time. Better yet, we want it all the time. Our search consists of wanting something or person that we believe will satisfy our expectations.

Read more

Understanding Fear in Your Life and Learning to Embrace It

22. February, 2017Blog Posts, Spiritual HealingNo comments

understanding fear in your lifeOccasionally recurring riddles emerge in my life. I call them personal koans. The word koan (approximately pronounced ko-ahn) is Japanese and its meaning is something like ‘case study’. Koans were historically used by Zen masters as life puzzles for their students to ponder and, eventually, to gain insight into the nature of life and into themselves. An old but fairly well known koan is this one: “Show me your

original face before your mother and father were born.” To some extent, such puzzles demonstrate the inadequacy of strictly logical thinking. Logical thinking also fails at understanding fear in your lifeRead more

Divine Consciousness: Receiving for the Holidays

12. December, 2016Blog Posts, Spiritual HealingNo comments

Divine ConsciousnessHolidays come and go. Over the years the same holidays feel quite different, my perceptions changing with the circumstances of my life. Perhaps you have noticed an evolution in your own experience. How was Christmas, or Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa for you as a child? Did your early perceptions change with adolescence? Did your experience match the story-books or were you aware of not-so-happy undercurrents around you or within you?

Read more

Setting Spiritual Boundaries in Freedom, Structure & Love

17. October, 2016Blog Posts, Boundaries, Spiritual HealingNo comments

Setting Spiritual BoundariesWe have a tendency to believe that if we love enough if we are enlightened, then

setting spiritual boundaries are not necessary. It isn’t true. In this material universe, everything is defined by separation. Our bodies, our thoughts, carpets and chairs all have some dividing line to define inside and out. These demarcations let us be ourselves and the chair be a chair. Read more

Distinguishing Between a Sense of Entitlement Complex and Gratitude

18. August, 2016Blog Posts, Spiritual HealingNo comments

sense of entitlement complexA friend of mine is a psychologist and counselor for college students at a prestigious university. She finds the job challenging because “they have such a strong sense of entitlement.” These young people feel they are inherently deserving of special treatment. They have high expectations for their living conditions, dining, and spending money. Above all, they expect their emotional upsets and distress to be honored giving them a

sense of entitlement complex. Read more

Developing Good Character Traits: Honesty & Truth

8. July, 2016Blog Posts, Spiritual HealingNo comments

“If you are honest only because you should be honest then your honesty is corrupt.”

– Source Unknown

developing good character traitsAs a child I thought, and was taught, that honesty is a simple matter. You tell the truth and it is a sin to lie. In life I discovered that honesty is neither simple or easy. I could write dozens of stories on my formative encounters with truthfulness and lying and include a few here on developing good character traits.

Personal Character Development

My commitment to telling the truth began because I lied a couple of times as a child and those events remained significant in my memory. One of the first times my parents left my older sister and I alone (we might have been 5 and 6), the two of us got into an argument. She pulled out the yardstick and said she was going to spank me. I grabbed the other end and we each tugged and pulled. The flimsy yardstick broke in two. Later, when my mother found the yardstick in pieces she confronted us. We held a united front, both of us insisting we had no idea how the yardstick got broken.

Read more

Understanding Human Relationships: Behavior & Experience

1. June, 2016Blog Posts, Spiritual HealingNo comments

understanding human relationshipsIn life, we have our internal experience, our behavior, and the other person’s behavior. That’s all. Out of these three, we want to form rewarding relationships, relationships that make us feel good and happy. The gap lies in the missing element: the other person’s experience. We can’t know the other person’s experience, only our own when

understanding human relationships. When we get upset it is a giveaway that we don’t even know the depth of our own experience either. Read more

Live Joyfully:

Start Receiving Our Newsletter
& Enjoy 3 Free Bonus Meditations!
Sign Up Today

Meditate Right Now

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Mindfulness

Meditation: Sandra Egli
Music: Torey Ronhovde

The wisdom of a thousand generations guides you today. Only listen. Without a sound their voices reverberate in your cells. Settle within and choose your path.

All of us come from strength, fortitude, perseverance. No matter how difficult their lives, our ancestors made it through and passed on life for the next generation. Over and over, until it came to you. The intelligence that guided them has also come to you.


To Thine own Self be true.

If I could present you with a single blessing, it would be the gift of Mindfulness. Awareness of yourself: body, emotions, and self-talk, all the time. Our immediate experience is the ultimate exploration that only grows richer with time. What we do or don't do, and the roots of our behavior, are accessible with the simple practice of noticing immediate experience. It is this practice that makes it possible to know and be true to ourselves.

Testimonials

Sandra's graceful way of listening & non-judgmental demeanor allowed me to open up effortlessly. I was certain, as I left her office, that I had received precisely the healing I needed.

Female client, age 44
Phoenix, Arizona