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spirituality and life

Recently it seems many catastrophic events have competed for headlines. Deadly and damaging hurricanes, devastating wildfires, an horrific mass shooting, and bombings of frightening proportion. When such events occur, many people ask why. Why do bad things happen? Why does God allow them?

I suggest this is the wrong question and to address the matter we must back up and begin, as always, with ourselves. We see the world through our own eyes and in the same manner as we view ourselves. We perceive ourselves as imperfect, believe we need to improve and constantly strive to ‘be better’ than we are. From this vantage we see the same about the world: there is something wrong here and we need to do something to make it work better. In our private lives we respond as though there is something defective in ‘me’. With public events we do the same – there is something defective in how the world is running.

I am here to challenge both beliefs. There is nothing defective in you or me and nothing defective in the way the world is running.

why certain things happen

The belief that I am defective gives rise to Pride, Greed, Arrogance, and Being right – all behaviors learned in an attempt to disprove the false belief that I am defective. Each is an effort to avoid the discomfort and pain that something is wrong in here with me. At least, if I am better than you, more righteous, with more stuff, if I’m right and you are wrong, then I am not so bad.

None of those ‘sins’ achieve the purpose for which they are adopted. In fact, they only convince us more than ever that we are bad because we are prideful or greedy. To avoid the pain of self-reflection, we begin looking for some ‘real’ problem outside ourselves.

There Is No Problem

When you face yourself fully, no one can ever tell you something about yourself that you don’t already know. And when you know all about yourself, you see you are just like everyone else – completely ordinary. It’s a relief. I am imperfect but not defective. There is nothing wrong with me.

why bad things happen

Working to fix myself from the outside leads to excessive exercise, rigid eating habits, alcohol, etc. This pits me against myself. It is a practice of self-hatred. Often it shows up as mental self-flagellation. For example, recently I made a mistake about an appointment time for a client. When she didn’t show up, I called, and she reminded me we reset her appointment for mid-afternoon. I was embarrassed (read ashamed) about my error. It wasn’t serious and yet, most of the matters about which we beat ourselves incessantly are not serious. They consist of missing an appointment, eating an extra cookie or farting in public. Inconsequential but frequent opportunities to practice self-hatred.


This Is Part Of Me Too

taking a spiritual approach to life

Facing myself, my relationship to the public shame of who I am and how I am shifts. I let myself be and I ‘be’ with myself. I can say, “And this is a part of me too.” This is so, even when my history includes serious matters such as a lethal auto accident, a grievous injury, or betrayal.

When I am authentic with myself I can recover from anything that interrupts the authenticity. I can recover my relationship with myself without getting lost in the history of my transgressions or those of anyone else.

Whatever happens, I take it in, feel it, let it go, and return to my intention for a truthful and loving relationship with myself. Then my relationships with others will be as good as they can be – and no better, because I am only half of the relationship.

why bad things keep happening

In wholeness, I am as I am, not defective and not some idealized self. I’m a living being with peccadillos, a temper, and a sweet tooth. I must include all of myself, each and every piece. No omissions. This is the nature of wholeness.

It is the nature of the universe of as well. Each and every piece must be included, without reservation. The world is not to be fixed on the outside. It belongs to us on the inside of ourselves, exactly as we are, waiting to be seen as it is, without flinching.

When we see ourselves as we are, then we see the world as it is and we no longer ask God, “How could you let this happen?”



If you’re looking for someone to speak to about your spiritual journey in Scottsdale, reach out and contact Dr. Sandra Egli at Center of Intention. Call (480) 860-0400 today!

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Meditation: Sandra Egli
Music: Torey Ronhovde

The wisdom of a thousand generations guides you today. Only listen. Without a sound their voices reverberate in your cells. Settle within and choose your path.

All of us come from strength, fortitude, perseverance. No matter how difficult their lives, our ancestors made it through and passed on life for the next generation. Over and over, until it came to you. The intelligence that guided them has also come to you.

To Thine own Self be true.

If I could present you with a single blessing, it would be the gift of Mindfulness. Awareness of yourself: body, emotions, and self-talk, all the time. Our immediate experience is the ultimate exploration that only grows richer with time. What we do or don't do, and the roots of our behavior, are accessible with the simple practice of noticing immediate experience. It is this practice that makes it possible to know and be true to ourselves.


Sandra's graceful way of listening & non-judgmental demeanor allowed me to open up effortlessly. I was certain, as I left her office, that I had received precisely the healing I needed.

Female client, age 44
Phoenix, Arizona